By Lynn Rae
You may find it best to be upfront about your bipolar disorder diagnosis, so you can make sure you are with a person who will be supportive.
Dating is difficult at any age. But when you add bipolar disorder to the mix it can be extremely daunting. How does one hide something that has had such a profound effect on their lives?
I have been divorced for 20 years and single for most of that time. Yes, I’ve done a lot of internet dating; perhaps too much at times. I did live with a man for a year, but that was strictly for financial reasons. I didn’t know how I was going to pay my rent and survive because I couldn’t work at the time. This lasted exactly one year.
During that time my teenage daughter was acting out, who lived with her father, so I had very little control in what happened in his home; my mother died and I had a lot of anger within me.
He kind of became someone I could yell at and take out my frustrations on. Once I got stronger I asked him to leave, just one year after he moved in. I decided I wouldn’t tolerate toxic people in my life any more and he was definitely one of them.
For the last 13 years I have playing the dating game. But I’m getting older. At 56, I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. But when I bring the subject up, most men run for the hills. They believe what they see and hear about famous people on television of social media — The crazy, out of control stuff that happens to us all.
And yes, there were times that I was crazy and out of control.
The funniest situation I remember is when I met a man for coffee. As soon as I told him I had bipolar disorder, he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I have used the bipolar card when I’m not interested in a man. Just telling him I have this illness usually drives him away.
I used to try to hide my illness from potential dating prospects years ago, but then it was hard to explain why I wasn’t working.
Today I have decided it is better to be upfront on the second or third date. It’s much easier to feel that sting of rejection before things get too far along. I expect total honesty from the people in my life so I try to give other people the same respect.
I have gotten to the point in my life where I know I may be alone for the long haul. I am a very strong person with good morals and values (for the most part, although I must confess I hate wearing my seatbelt).
The type of man I am looking for would need to support me in whatever endeavors I undertake whether it be my Virtual Assistant Business or speaking about how to manage bipolar disorder effectively.
I have been completely open about my recovery which has included writing and self-publishing a book called “My Journey Back To Myself.” Any man who wants to me in my life would have to be able to not be embarrassed by my unashamed approach to helping others.
It’s better to be alone and lonely than to feel alone in a relationship.