By Stacey Brake
First of all, I want to tell you how truly grateful for you I am. To be able to send a message to you each week in your inbox and get so many responses and stories and personal reflections is truly a gift. I adore you and appreciate you ... truly. Thank you for being on this journey with me and for your connection.
The holidays are among us. Whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, or you don't celebrate at all, it's impossible to miss the celebrations going on around us.
What always strikes me during this time of year is the contrast in the human experience. Last night truly highlighted that for me.
In our home, we are more focused on experiences over things. Months ago, we bought tickets to the Jumpman Invitational: a college basketball tournament. 8 teams, 4 games ... including our favorite team, the Tarheels! The joy and excitement leading up to this tournament are hard to measure. This tournament was going to be a highlight of the year for our family. To be able to experience this with and through the eyes of our boys who are 10 and 11 ... and LOVE basketball, esp. the Tarheels . ..is an absolute gift.
Shortly after we got into the Spectrum Center awaiting the start of THE game, I got a call from my Dad. I answered it and he told me that my uncle, who has been in the hospital for the past month waiting for a heart transplant, just took a turn for the worse. He had been rushed in for emergency surgery after he complained of massive pain in his leg and then passed out. Doctors performed CPR, and possibly internal bleeding. He was without oxygen for a period of
time and may have organ damage. This episode removed him from the heart transplant list until they can assess the condition of his other organs, including his brain.
When I hung up the phone, my husband asked if I was ok. "Yeah, I just feel really sad right now.", I said.
So, I sat in one of the most joyful moments of the year while also feeling very sad.
Life is messy, complicated, beautiful and joyful.
THAT is why we need strategies and skills to manage all of it. It's possible to not know how to manage feelings of joy and it's possible not to know how to manage feelings of pain.
Managing emotions is a skill. It takes practice.
Yes, I was able to enjoy the game, but not because I pushed away the feelings of sadness. One thing that I've learned over the years is how to allow emotions to be what they are. I can feel sad and appreciate a joyful moment.
It takes practice and I'm grateful in moments like this where I'm able to hold space for both emotions.
I hope that you have lots of beautiful, joyful moments during this season. AND, I hope that if there are some messy, sad, or difficult moments, you can move through them and still stay in touch with the beautiful ones.
Blessings to you and yours during this season!