By Stephen Propst
How we think about a situation can cause more problems than bipolar itself. Addressing our thoughts can change our feelings, behavior, and life — for the better!
Mistaken Mindset & Stability Setbacks
“My life is a complete mess. I can’t do anything right. I’m an emotional wreck. There’s no cure for my illness. I’m doomed to live in a state of chaos for life. No one can help me. No one understands. I brought all of this on myself.”
Sound familiar? It does to me because that’s a snapshot of the “twisted thoughts” and “backward beliefs” that consumed my mind for years. My mistaken mindset put my chances for recovery on hold for way too long.
Change Your Mind, Change Your Mood
What you think and believe affects your self-esteem, your well-being, and your mood stability. In the midst of mania, thinking you are indestructible can have devastating consequences. In the depths of depression, believing that your situation will never improve only makes matters worse.
There’s good news: What you think and believe can be changed … for the better. According to the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), every act and attitude has its roots in a thought or belief. When you change what you think or believe, you can change your feelings, your behavior, and your life.
The first step is understanding the types of thinking that hold you back and keep you from moving forward with recovery. Here are some basic cognitive behavioral concepts developed by pioneers Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Aaron Beck and popularized by Dr. David Burns (Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy [Harper, 1999; repr. 2008]), and others.
Types of “Twisted Thoughts”
- Overgeneralization: We take a one-time occurrence and make it the rule of thumb.
- Crystal-Balling: We predict the future, and the forecast looks grim.
- Blame Game: We blame ourselves when we could not possibly bear responsibility.
- Black & White Thinking: We interpret everything as an absolute, with no shades of gray.
Common “Backward” Beliefs
- Perfectionism: We must always perform at peak and never make a mistake.
- Unfounded Fear: We are afraid without good reason of certain people, places, situations, or scenarios.
Thought Patterns vs. Symptoms of Bipolar
In dealing with bipolar disorder, I have found that how I think about my situation can be more debilitating than the condition itself. So, what’s the answer?
To reverse this damaging trend, we need to learn some concrete ways to untwist our thinking and turn our beliefs around for the better. We need to rethink, reprogram, and regroup.
Step #1: RETHINK
Whenever you have an unrealistic thought or an untrue belief, you have some work to do. There are three steps to take:
- Using the categories above, identify how the thought or belief is not based in fact.
- Revise the thought or belief to be a more accurate reflection of reality.
- Determine what action, if any, might be taken to improve your situation.
As an example, look at this statement: “I am always forgetting to take my medication.” Now, go through each of the steps:
- This is an overgeneralization. More than likely, you do not always forget to take your medicine.
- What is more true to your situation? Probably something like this: “Although I usually take my medicine, I sometimes forget, especially on weekends when my routine changes.”
- What can you do about it? “I will purchase a pill reminder box to help keep me on track.”
Here are some common thoughts or beliefs—in the form of statements—that someone living with bipolar might have. After each statement comes pointers for restating the remark in a more realistic manner, followed by the type of twisted thought or backward belief at play. After you read each example, ask yourself what actions might be taken to help ensure a positive change in mindset.
Restructure Thoughts to Better Reflect Reality
- “My mood swings are all my fault.” Bipolar disorder is a real, organic, genetic medical condition. No one is to blame. Watch your internal dialogue, and stop pointing fingers at yourself. (Blame Game)
- “I’ll never get better.” No one, including you, can predict the future. At one point, I could not have imagined enjoying the recovery that I do today. It was when I started to envision the best, not the worst, that I started moving more quickly toward a brighter tomorrow. (Crystal-Balling)
- “I feel uneasy about going to a support group.” Why dwell on dread and doubt? A self-limiting stance keeps you from seeking out a known solution. Logic tells you that people at a support group are well equipped to offer understanding and encouragement. The only thing you have to fear is the possibility of getting better. (Unfounded Fear)
- “Medication doesn’t work for me.” Finding the right medication is not easy and takes time. Sometimes, a particular prescription is just not the best fit. But a failed attempt does not mean that you and your doctor can’t still find an option that works. With each successive trial, you’re one step closer to finding the solution. (Overgeneralization)
- “I’m always either in a state of major mania or deep depression.” Start keeping a journal or a mood calendar. When you analyze the results, you’ll see that there are times of stability in your life. Even when you have bipolar, life is not so cut and dried. (Black & White Thinking)
- “I’ve made so many mistakes in dealing with my illness.” So what? I’ll bet I have you beat! In my life, having bipolar has meant making blunders. No one is perfect. When you make a mistake, learn from it and move on. (Perfectionism)
Step #2: REPROGRAM
In time, you can reprogram negative thoughts. Here’s a simple technique: Begin to replace the negative self-talk in your head by writing a more positive, realistic affirmation on an index card. Refer to it regularly whenever you find yourself embracing a convoluted thought or fostering a bad belief. Here’s an example:
“The negative thought I am having is a lie from my brain. I can’t always rely on what I’m feeling or thinking at the moment. I have to examine the facts. I have to use good reason and judgment in making decisions, learn from past mistakes, and be willing to make tough choices to keep my recovery moving in the right direction. Doing so will help ensure a more rewarding and fulfilling life.”
The first psychiatrist I ever visited asked me to carry around such a card and read it 50 times a day for 30 days. Initially, I thought this idea was absurd. Over the course of the month, I was astonished by how my thinking changed for the better. You can retrain your brain.
Step #3: REGROUP
There have been times when my bipolar resulted in me thinking or saying things or developing beliefs that were extremely destructive, with devastating consequences. I had to learn to seek out and accept honest feedback from family or friends who noticed my distorted thinking.
Surround yourself with people who can profoundly and positively help you reprogram your false perceptions. Be open to their suggestions, and be willing to take action. At times when family and friends aren’t available, a support group is a wonderful place to find the help and hope you need.
Give yourself a mental makeover: Untangle your twisted thoughts and break down your bad beliefs. The more what you think and believe is aligned with genuine reality, the more balanced and healthy your life can be.
Used by permission.