By Stephen Propst
There are things about our lives that we just don’t want to know. If, however, you want to take charge and live well in spite of bipolar disorder, then read on.
You know, there are things about our lives that we just don’t want to know. For example, most of us do not want to know how and when we’ll die. And we do not want to know what people say behind our backs. But sometimes we act like we don’t want to know things that could actually help us. That’s true of those of us living with bipolar disorder. Many of us live like we don’t want to know what it really takes to get better.
Instead, we look at bipolar disorder as something we must endure rather than as something we can control. We succumb to it and play the role of the victim. We let others make choices for us. Or, worse yet, we just abandon hope of ever getting better. Even those of us who are successfully confronting bipolar disorder may encounter difficult times. And then we may revert back to such negative thinking and forget all that life has to offer.
Approaching bipolar disorder submissively merely increases the likelihood of the illness taking its own unpredictable course. If you subscribe to such a theory, this article contains ten things you do not want to know. If, however, you do want to take charge and have a life in spite of bipolar disorder, then read on. It’s time to get better, stay well, and discover life beyond bipolar disorder.
#1 Be willing to admit that you have bipolar disorder.
“There’s nothing wrong with me. I certainly don’t need to take meds”— meanwhile, your condition deteriorates. Or, you go undiagnosed for years, potentially winding up in a fairly critical circumstance. Either way, someone often has to intervene. Sometimes it’s the law. Indeed, your life has fallen apart, and it’s all because of your pride.
If you are experiencing the telltale signs of bipolar, be willing to admit that you have a serious illness. Denial only delays the ultimate recovery you’re capable of achieving.
#2 Don’t define yourself by your illness.
Focusing so much on your symptoms at the expense of ignoring all that makes you unique makes no sense. You need to keep things in perspective and be realistic. Granted, having a mental illness is not easy, but the solution is not to reduce your worth as a person to the illness itself and let bipolar disorder become the sole focus of your life.
You can maintain your self-esteem by putting your illness in its proper context. Having a diagnosis doesn’t mean that you have to discount all of your dreams. You are more than your moods. Neither triumphs nor tribulations change the fact that you are a valuable, worthwhile person simply because you exist.
#3 Quick fixes are not the answer.
You say, “I just haven’t found the right medication yet.” Initially, I, too, thought that I could find a magic pill that would make all the pain just go away. But, looking for miracle cures leads to disappointment more often than not. Addressing an illness like bipolar disorder requires a comprehensive treatment approach. A pie-in-the-sky panacea is not the answer.
With bipolar disorder, you are looking at a situation that requires management over time. You cannot confront the illness in a half-hearted manner. The best approach is to work steadily and rationally with your doctor and therapist, follow your game plan, and work toward realistic, measurable goals to bring you closer to ultimate recovery.
#4 Dealing with bipolar disorder requires a lifestyle change.
No football team goes on the field without a game plan. Winning the battle with bipolar disorder requires a well-developed plan of action, too. You—not the doctor, not the therapist, not the managed healthcare plan, and not the government—are ultimately responsible for establishing and following the plan.
At a minimum, you need to establish a relationship with the right doctor and therapist, follow their orders, and regularly take your medication if prescribed. In addition, your plan should include a support system. Proper sleep, good nutrition, and daily exercise are also essential. And, your plan should include steps to take if you encounter rough times or become suicidal.
#5 You’re not the only person in the world with problems, pain, and stress.
Here is the principle: Find someone with a worse problem than yours, and your problem doesn’t seem so bad after all. It’s all a matter of perspective. You can minimize your misery and maximize your mirth by realizing that you do not carry the weight of the world alone.
I live down the street from one of the preeminent catastrophic care hospitals in the country, Shepherd Center. If I start to feel sorry for myself or think I am alone in my suffering, a visit to Shepherd, where patients have suffered massive head and spinal injuries, changes my perspective. Realizing that others have their burdens to bear makes yours seem lighter and more manageable.
#6 Don’t beat yourself up for not meeting the performance standards that you were once capable of achieving prior to the onset of your illness.
You have bipolar disorder: it may not define you, but it is a part of your life. Live one day at a time and set smaller goals at first. Establish realistic expectations based on the set of circumstances with which you are now dealing. In time, as you build more confidence and self-esteem, you will be able to aim even higher.
Also, do not fall prey to pressure from others who push for you to get back to your old self. Having an effective strategy for dealing with bipolar disorder includes acknowledging what, at a given time, you can and cannot do. Do not sabotage your treatment progress by meeting inflated expectations, whether you or others set them.
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