By Stephen Propst
Little things you say and do may seem, well, little. But for someone living with bipolar, little things can mean a lot.
Sometimes acquaintances, coworkers, and even friends and family wonder what to say, what to do around someone living with bipolar. Fortunately, you don’t have to over-think everything. What may seem insignificant to you can make a major difference for us.
Being understanding and accommodating doesn’t have to take extraordinary effort. Here are 20 little things that have mattered to me in big ways—and most likely they would to anyone facing the daily challenges of a mood disorder.
- Invite us to lunch or dinner. Allow for flexibility as to when and where. A shared meal can mean more than you can imagine.
- Ask us to take part in a family function. We often don’t have families of our own; it feels good to be remembered and included.
- See if we want to meet you for an after-work gathering or work-related function. For someone who’s not currently employed, it’s a nice experience—not to mention a networking opportunity that might lead to a future job!
- Send an email or text just to say hi. It only takes a minute. Your message might mean more than you think, and you’ll be providing a much-needed lift.
- Let us know you’re there—in time of crisis or in general. When we need to talk, it’s nice to have someone who cares. At a minimum, you’ll be a listening ear—maybe even a lifeline!
- Tell us about an article or program you came across that taught you something valuable about bipolar. The more you learn about the condition we face, the better for everyone.
- Send a card to show your compassion. Taking time to put something in writing shows that you feel we’re worth that extra step.
- The next time our paths cross, let us know how much we mean to you. Knowing that someone doesn’t take us for granted can be a major boost to our self-esteem.
- Social media can be triggering, so many of us avoid it. Make sure we know about upcoming events, because no one wants to feel excluded.
- Don’t stop extending an invitation to us just because we haven’t accepted the last few times you asked. The next time might be the right time.
- Don’t feel that you always have to bring up bipolar. After all, there’s so much more to talk about!
- It may be tempting, but don’t talk behind our backs. There’s enough stigma out there already.
- Try not to take what we might say or do personally. Frequently, what may seem intentional is actually symptomatic.
- Take time to help eliminate myths and misconceptions about bipolar. Help others learn the truth about what can be a difficult diagnosis to understand.
- Bipolar is not usually considered a “casserole condition.” Drop off a dish the next time you know we’re feeling down.
- If you haven’t heard from us in a while, check in. Please be empathetic; you can touch base without touching a nerve.
- Questions are usually preferred over assertions. It’s OK to inquire: How have you been doing? However, avoid statements like: You don’t look so good. (That’s not so good!)
- What may seem like a small accomplishment to you might feel different to us. Acknowledgment feels good.
- Sometimes the best thing (perhaps the only thing) you can do is pray for us. (And we need to do the same for you!)
- Be patient. Don’t ever give up on those of us battling bipolar.
Are you willing to try some of these ideas? When it comes to impacting our lives in positive ways, never underestimate the value of what you say and do.
Used by permission.