{"id":631,"date":"2023-01-04T12:32:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-04T12:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rx4wholeness-org.us.stackstaging.com\/?p=631"},"modified":"2026-09-06T14:56:02","modified_gmt":"2026-09-06T14:56:02","slug":"4-tips-for-when-youd-rather-be-in-control-than-ask-for-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rx4wholeness.org\/uk\/4-tips-for-when-youd-rather-be-in-control-than-ask-for-help\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Tips for When You\u2019d Rather Be in Control Than Ask for Help"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By&nbsp;<em>April Michael<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Surrendering our ego, accepting that we are not in control, and practicing humility can help to ease the anxiety that often accompanies bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Asking for Help vs. Being in Control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s hard for me to ask for help. So hard that it almost never happens, or at least not until it\u2019s too late and I\u2019m seething with bipolar anger or overwhelmed from exhaustion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Usually, my reluctance to ask for help stems from a well-meaning place. I don\u2019t want to impose on others, or I genuinely&nbsp;<em>want&nbsp;<\/em>to help people. Sometimes, though, it comes from a hidden, selfish desire &#8211; I want people to see me in a certain way; to know that they can count on me no matter what; or to see me as some sort of multitasking marvel who has it all together. But beneath these complicated and misguided intentions, the real reason I find it so hard to ask for help is that I want to be in control. And my desire for control is driven by anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Bipolar Disorder &amp; Anxiety<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bipolar disorder and anxiety seem to go hand in hand. And it\u2019s little wonder when our moods are in constant flux. It can feel like we never know what\u2019s coming next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>When I\u2019m depressed, I\u2019m anxious because I feel like everything is hopeless.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>When I\u2019m manic, I have less acute anxiety and more of an overall uneasiness that things are soon going to end badly.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>When I\u2019m stable, I deal with the constant anxiety that things could go badly\u2014that I could become depressed or manic again.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>And, even when bipolar symptoms are not at the forefront of my mind, simply dealing with the day-to-day stress of life is enough to keep me at an elevated baseline of anxiety.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, instead of asking for help when I need it, I let my anxiety convince me that I need to do everything so that I remain in control. It\u2019s the embodiment of that old adage, \u201cIf you want something done right, do it yourself.\u201d But this is the worst possible way to handle my anxiety! Appointing myself as a martyr in the name of control or some illusion of perfection only serves to add to my anxiety, my desire for control, and my unwillingness to ask for help. It is a vicious cycle that can only be broken by surrender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Surrendering Control &amp; Practicing Humility<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In order to surrender to this incredibly scary feeling that I must be in control, I have to practice humility. In this age of social media and constant oversharing (for example, the blog I\u2019m writing right now), humility is not something that is encouraged. We are told to share our every thought, post our beautifully-edited selfies, and to \u201cjust do you.\u201d But all of this creates selfishness and further anxiety to at least&nbsp;<em>appear&nbsp;<\/em>like we have it all together. And asking for help is not part of that paradigm. But, as people dealing with the very messy, painful, sometimes beautiful world of bipolar disorder, asking for help is the best way we can help ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am now on a mission to ask for help when I need it. Surrendering my ego, accepting that I am not in control of everything nor ever will be, and practicing humility are all ways that I am learning to do this. It\u2019s part of a better adage &#8211; \u201cLet go and let God.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">My Tips for Asking for Help with Bipolar Anxiety<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, the next time you are struggling to ask for help, try to remember these four things:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Ask for help before you feel overwhelmed.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Don\u2019t be afraid of imposing on people; it\u2019s up to them to say no if they need to.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Remember that there is no one way of doing something\u2014just because it\u2019s not done \u201cyour way\u201d doesn\u2019t mean it won\u2019t be done right or well.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Trying to control everything does not ease anxiety; asking for help can.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What are some other ways you have learned to let go of control and ask for help?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By&nbsp;April Michael Surrendering our ego, accepting that we are not in control, and practicing humility can help to ease the anxiety that often accompanies bipolar disorder. Asking for Help vs. Being in Control It\u2019s hard for me to ask for help. So hard that it almost never happens, or at least not until it\u2019s too [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":636,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[23,100],"class_list":["post-631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sufferer","tag-anxiety-or-fear","tag-april-michael-bipolar-disorder-anxiety-help-depression"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>4 Tips for When You\u2019d Rather Be in Control Than Ask for Help - Rx 4 Wholeness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/rx4wholeness.org\/uk\/4-tips-for-when-youd-rather-be-in-control-than-ask-for-help\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"uk_UA\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"4 Tips for When You\u2019d Rather Be in Control Than Ask for Help - Rx 4 Wholeness\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By&nbsp;April Michael Surrendering our ego, accepting that we are not in control, and practicing humility can help to ease the anxiety that often accompanies bipolar disorder. 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